Why Women Aren’t Seen as Fully Human by Men

Recently I ran across a rather mind-blowing, but evergreen, article from 2018 on The Cut with Terry Crews (a football player, actor and #MeToo activist) about the toxic culture of men not seeing women as fully human.

In the article, Terry discusses toxic masculinity and how cult-like it is (his description). He equates it as being no different from Jim Jones or David Koresh , and goes on to say:

This is what happens with men and women. […] As a woman, they talk, but a guy is not looking at you as even all the way human. This is what you have to understand — there is a humanity issue here,” he continued. “[Women are] like, ‘Why don’t you hear me? Why don’t you see my feelings?’ And [men are] like, ‘But you’re not all the way human. You’re here for me, you’re here for my deal.’ It’s real.

I always kind of knew it in the back of my mind that what he is saying is true, based on my own life experiences, but to see it in writing, and admitted to, made me feel oddly taken aback. It’s one of those things that you don’t want to think about, so you keep pushing it to the back of your mind.

How does one go through life literally hating half of the population? And the “weaker (sex) half” at that! Why? Whats the purpose? These are thoughts that travel in and out of my mind when I consider the weight of it, which makes me push it to the back again. It’s almost too much to absorb.

I have never considered myself a feminist. In fact, some of the things that aggravate these women, perplexes me. I grew up in the 70s and 80s. There isn’t much that offends me, and I’m not the type to go looking for things to be offended at.

That can only go on for so long, because sooner or later, another example jumps up, and slaps you in the face.

On the other hand, since becoming a relationship writer, these examples of men not seeing women as fully human, have been slapping me silly lately. I’ve written about bitter men and showcased with real screenshots of how they view women. It’s true. There are men out there that either on a conscious, or subconscious level, see women as subhuman.

That is shocking to me in this day and age, but it shouldn’t be — and wouldn’t be- if I’d not kept my head in the sand, trying to ignore it. For the most part, I love men…always have. In a one on one conversation, I find that I can relate well to most of them. My ability to relate to the majority of them, may have been part of the reason why I didn’t want to believe this.

I’m starting to wonder if I’m having another awakening. Or at least an epiphany. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve always supported workplace equality, equal pay, women being equal, rights, equal, equal, equal, etc.

But, there have been rare times in my life, up until now, that I wondered if men truly see women as fully human, then I saw that article.

I’ve written about the fragile male ego, abuse, and all the “fun” that comes with dealing with it. Recently, I posted an article on how it all ties together with male fragility, abuse, and emotional immaturity. But what umbrella would dehumanizing women be under?

Dehumanization of women often falls under the umbrella of toxic masculinity. Toxic masculinity refers to cultural norms that emphasize dominance, control, and aggression as male traits, leading to harmful behaviors toward others, especially women.

It can manifest in various forms, including:

1. Control and Power: Asserting dominance over women to feel powerful.

2. Emotional Suppression: Believing that showing emotions is a sign of weakness.

3. Entitlement: Feeling entitled to women’s time, bodies, or attention.

Fragile masculinity, on the other hand, involves insecurity about one’s masculinity, which can also drive similar harmful behaviors but is more about defending one’s perceived manhood.

Generalizing All Women

One recurring theme of what I see out there, is the way men generalize women. This is especially prevalent with the bitter incels. They don’t view women as their equals. Even if they claim to be married to a good one, they will still gas on other women, putting them all in one box.

When men compliment a woman, and she doesn’t respond, their facade crumbles, revealing the deep-seated hatred they harbor for women. It requires the patience of a saint not to despise these men and wish for their downfall. Nearly every woman I know has had this happen at some point.

A Look at Gen -X Social Conditioning of Portraying Women as Subhuman

It’s not a surprise men of my generation have participated in the dehumanization of women when you look at what we grew up with. Much of the misogyny and portrayal of women as not being fully human, was done under the guise of comedy, or cuteness.

Boys will be boys! (If I had a dime for everytime I had to hear that growing up…)

Take the movie “Weird Science” with Kelly Le Brock. A Johns Hughs 80s classic.

The movie’s byline is “If you can’t get a date, make one!” The movie is about nerdy boys who create their version of the perfect woman, from a Barbie doll. She’s there to serve and be whoever they want her to be.

“Chip’s Dips, Chains, Whips!”

Madness ensues.

Music videos were especially active in portraying women as not fully human.

When I thought back to my first experience of the dehumanizing of women, was when I was watching a video by an 80s one hit wonder by The Tubes called “She’s a Beauty.” The first time I saw it, I must have been around 13 years old.

You can imagine how many boys that age were watching, and learning this, as well. In fact, there is a boy in the video, going on a “Woman Ride” who looks to be about that age.

Think that was intentional, knowing what the main audience would be?

You bet it was.

The title alone sounds like they are selling a car. Last night, I watched the video again for the first time in decades. There are all kinds of examples of women portrayed as subhuman in this video, with the lead singer acting as a carnival barker that is selling the women “ride”.

Lyrics as follows:

She’ll give you every penny’s worth / But it will cost you a dollar’s worth. You can say anything you like / But you can’t touch the merchandise.

The merchandise?? 🙄

I forgot about the nipples on the drum set. See if you can find what I’m talking about here (not the nipples, the example – get your mind outta the gutter): 🤣

Obviously the 80’s were not the beginning of the portayal of women as being subhuman. This sh!t has gone on since the beginning of time. In music, it was at least the 50’s (my musical knowledge doesn’t go much past this decade,) where, if you listen carefully to those innocent, happy sounding DuWop type songs, many of them rail against women as well as dehumanize them.

I’m not talking about “Baby It’s Cold Outside.” It was worse!

However, that was a different time, and we’ve come a long way, baby. Or have we really?

Early Socialization Portraying Women as Not Fully Human

The dehumanization of women isn’t just a problem rooted in toxic masculinity or archaic gender roles. It’s an intricate social issue shaped by cultural, educational, and psychological factors that mold men from a young age. Many people overlook the subtle ways in which boys are conditioned to see women as subhuman, setting the stage for a lifetime of inequality and bias.

From the playground to the classroom, boys receive cues about what it means to be a man. They’re taught that strength, stoicism, and independence define their worth, while emotions and empathy are often dismissed as feminine qualities.

This binary thinking doesn’t just push men away from understanding themselves—it distances them from seeing women as fully human.

Take, for example, the way young boys are praised for being “tough” when they fall and are expected to shake it off rather than express pain or vulnerability. Meanwhile, girls are often comforted and encouraged to share their feelings.

This early divergence in emotional development creates a foundation where men learn to devalue traits associated with femininity, such as empathy and care.

The Media’s Role in Shaping Perception

Popular culture further entrenches these perceptions. Media regularly portrays women in limited, stereotypical roles—either as objects of desire or as nurturing caregivers.

Men are bombarded with images of women who exist primarily to serve male needs, reinforcing the idea that women are not fully human beings with their own desires and agency.

Consider the prevalence of the “damsel in distress” trope, where a woman’s entire narrative revolves around being rescued by a male hero. This repeated storyline subtly suggests that women lack the capacity to be independent, strong individuals, leading men to subconsciously view them as less capable or less deserving of autonomy.

The Educational Gap: More Than Just a Numbers Game

While much attention has been given to the gender disparities in certain academic fields, less discussed is the impact of what’s taught—or not taught—in schools. History lessons, for example, often marginalize women’s contributions, highlighting male achievements while glossing over or completely ignoring the accomplishments of women.

This omission reinforces the idea that men are the primary actors in human progress, while women play a supporting role, thus continuing the cycle of subhuman perception.

When young boys see men dominating history books, they begin to internalize the idea that men are the creators and shapers of the world, and women merely exist within it.

This educational gap contributes to the perception that women aren’t fully human, as their voices and achievements are systematically erased.

The Impact of Peer Culture

Peer culture among boys typically revolves around proving one’s masculinity, which unfortunately can involve objectifying, or dehumanizing women. Boys might engage in locker room talk that reduces women to their physical attributes or exploits them as conquests.

These conversations aren’t just idle chatter; they reinforce a worldview where women are seen as objects for male consumption rather than as fully human beings with thoughts, feelings, and rights.

Interestingly, this dynamic often intensifies during adolescence, a period when boys are figuring out their identities. The pressure to conform to masculine norms can push them further away from empathetic understanding, leading to a hardened perception of women as subhuman entities.

The Consequences in Adult Relationships

This early conditioning carries over into adulthood, where men frequently struggle to see women as equals in relationships. They may unconsciously prioritize their own needs and perspectives, treating their partners as extensions of themselves rather than as independent individuals.

This can manifest in subtle ways, like making decisions unilaterally or dismissing a woman’s opinions as overly emotional or irrational.

Such behaviors stem from the deeply ingrained belief that men’s experiences and viewpoints are more valid, a belief cultivated through years of seeing women as less than human.

Challenging the Dehumanization of Women

Breaking this cycle requires more than just awareness; it demands active change. Men must begin by critically examining the ways in which they’ve been conditioned to dehumanize women, often unknowingly. This involves not only rejecting overt sexism, but also addressing the subtler, more insidious ways in which women are devalued.

Parents, educators, and society at large need to cultivate environments where boys learn to value empathy, respect, and equality from a young age. Media representation must evolve to showcase women as complex, fully human beings, and history lessons should reflect the contributions of women as equal to those of men.

Only by confronting these deeply embedded attitudes can we move toward a world where women are seen not just as non-human or secondary, but as complete human individuals deserving of the same respect and dignity as men.

https://www.thecut.com/2018/04/terry-crews-women-of-the-world-summit-cult-of-masculinity.html