Avoid These 18 Relationship Deal Breakers at All Costs

Did you know that 89% of people consider bad hygiene to be a relationship deal breaker? Discover the top 18 relationship deal breakers and how to avoid them in order to maintain a healthy and successful relationship.

As I reflect on my past relationships, I can’t help but cringe at the numerous dealbreakers I have encountered along the way. From communication issues to infidelity, I have experienced it all-well almost all.

When I first started dating my now-husband, I thought everything was going great. That is, until he revealed his love for Nickelback and his refusal to put the toilet seat down. It made me realize that certain relationship deal breakers can truly make or break a relationship. Haha – OK, not really. He doesnt leave the toilet seat up-anymore. I nipped that in the bud early on.

Ah, love – that intoxicating whirlwind, the passionate tango, the comforting blanket on a chilly evening. Yet, amidst the allure of romance, lies a thorny path strewn with potential pitfalls and red flags that can disrupt even the most enchanting love stories.

While each romantic journey is unique, certain incompatibilities can cast a shadow over the foundation of trust and happiness. So, how do we navigate this emotional minefield? By recognizing warning signs, understanding our boundaries, and creating open communication with our partners.

Today we will discuss 18 relationship deal breakers, not to instill fear, but to empower you with knowledge. It’s important to note that these are guidelines, not absolutes. Every situation requires nuance and thoughtful consideration. The aim is to equip you with the discernment to identify potential hazards and make informed decisions about your romantic endeavors.

Join me as I share my personal journey and the 18 relationship dealbreakers that I have learned to avoid at all costs.

18 Relationship Deal Breakers You Should Never Ignore

1. Lack of Respect, Dismissiveness, and Abuse:

There’s no excuse for any form of abuse – verbal, emotional, or physical. If you find yourself constantly walking on eggshells, apologizing for who you are, or feeling diminished and disregarded, it’s time to prioritize your safety and walk away. Respect forms the cornerstone of any healthy relationship, and tolerating abuse erodes your self-esteem and well-being.

2. Dishonesty and Betrayal:

Trust is the bedrock of any successful relationship. Lies, infidelity, and broken promises erode this foundation, breeding doubt and insecurity. While forgiveness is possible, a pattern of deceit signals a lack of integrity and respect for your feelings. You deserve a partner who values honesty and demonstrates it consistently.

3. Fundamental Value Clashes:

While compromise is crucial, certain core values are non-negotiable. Differences in religious beliefs, ethical principles, or political ideologies can create constant friction, undermining the harmony of your relationship. Don’t compromise on your fundamental values – seek a partner who shares your convictions and respects your beliefs.

4. Unrealistic Expectations and Emotional Dependency:

Love should never feel suffocating or restrictive. A healthy relationship thrives on mutual respect, independence, and balanced emotional investment. A partner who demands constant validation, smothers your individuality, or expects you to fulfill their emotional needs without reciprocation fosters an unhealthy codependency. Choose a partner who encourages your personal growth and values your autonomy.

5. Financial Irresponsibility and Disagreements:

Money matters can strain even the strongest relationships. However, blatant disregard for financial stability, excessive debt, or secrecy surrounding finances can sow seeds of resentment and mistrust. Open communication, shared financial goals, and a willingness to address challenges together are essential for a secure future.

6. Unwillingness to Grow and Evolve:

Change is inevitable, and personal growth is essential for a thriving relationship. If your partner resists self-improvement, refuses to acknowledge their shortcomings, or dismisses your desire for change, it can hinder the growth of your relationship. Seek a partner who embraces growth, values open communication, and evolves alongside you.

7. Lack of Empathy and Compassion:

Emotional connection forms the heart of any meaningful relationship. A partner who lacks empathy, fails to understand your perspective, or disregards your feelings creates a disconnect that can lead to emotional loneliness. While everyone expresses empathy differently, consistent disregard for your emotions signals a potential mismatch in emotional compatibility.

8. Unresolved Trauma and Baggage:

We all carry emotional baggage, but unresolved trauma can cast a shadow over a relationship. If your partner’s past wounds impact your well-being and they’re unwilling to address them, it can strain your relationship. Seek a partner who actively works on self-healing and prioritizes creating a healthy emotional environment.

9. Addiction and Unmanaged Mental Health:

While support is vital, a partner struggling with addiction or unmanaged mental health issues without seeking professional help can strain your relationship. It’s important to prioritize your own well-being and set healthy boundaries. Encourage your partner to seek help, but remember, you can’t single-handedly fix or rescue someone from their battles.

10. Constant Criticism and Negativity:

Negativity breeds toxicity in relationships. A partner who constantly criticizes, belittles, or drains your energy with pessimism creates a toxic atmosphere that stifles growth and erodes self-esteem. While constructive feedback is healthy, relentless negativity undermines your confidence and happiness. Choose a partner who uplifts you and supports your aspirations.

11. Lack of Intimacy and Connection:

Emotional and physical intimacy are essential for a fulfilling relationship. If your partner consistently withholds affection, dismisses your emotional needs, or creates distance, it can lead to feelings of loneliness and frustration. Open communication about your desires and needs is crucial, but if the gap persists, it may indicate deeper compatibility issues.

12. Unequal Workload and Disrespectful Dynamics:

A healthy relationship thrives on equality and mutual respect. When one partner bears the brunt of domestic tasks or emotional labor while the other remains passive, resentment festers. This imbalance erodes trust and undermines the collaborative spirit of your relationship. Strive for a partnership where responsibilities are shared, appreciation flows freely, and mutual respect prevails.

13. Controlling Behavior and Isolation:

Control is antithetical to love. A partner who seeks to control your actions, isolates you from loved ones, or dictates your choices undermines your autonomy and self-worth. Nurture your independence, maintain healthy relationships outside the partnership, and establish clear boundaries to preserve your freedom and dignity.

14. Lack of Trust and Respect for Personal Space:

Healthy relationships honor individual boundaries and foster trust. If your partner invades your privacy, disregards your need for personal space, or constantly monitors your activities, it signifies a lack of trust and respect. Remember, trust is earned through mutual respect, and boundaries are essential for maintaining autonomy within a relationship.

15. Unhealthy Communication and Conflict Resolution:

Effective communication is the cornerstone of any successful relationship. If conflict is met with hostility, defensiveness, or a refusal to compromise, it can lead to unresolved issues and resentment. Seek partners who engage in respectful dialogue, actively listen, and collaborate towards solutions that honor both perspectives.

16. Anger Issues:

This is a big relationship dealbreaker because it could spiral out of control, putting you in danger. Anger, when uncontrolled, can poison the well of love. While everyone experiences moments of frustration, a partner with consistent anger issues creates an atmosphere of fear and instability. Differentiate between occasional outbursts and a pattern of explosive behavior that threatens your emotional well-being. Choose a partner who manages anger constructively and respects your emotional safety.

17. Differing Views on Parenthood:

The decision to have children – or not – is deeply personal and can be a source of contention in relationships. When partners hold opposing views on parenthood, it can create a rift that’s challenging to bridge. Respect each other’s desires and aspirations, and if the divide is insurmountable, it may indicate fundamental differences that warrant careful consideration.

18. Poor Hygiene and Unhealthy Habits:

Physical attraction is important in any relationship. Persistent disregard for basic cleanliness or unwillingness to address hygiene concerns can create a barrier to intimacy and breed discomfort. While hygiene preferences vary, prioritize partners who respect your boundaries and maintain basic self-care practices.

Navigating the Relationship Deal Breakers Minefield with Wisdom and Compassion

Deal breakers aren’t about seeking perfection; they’re about safeguarding your happiness and well-being. While every relationship faces challenges, identifying red flags empowers you to make informed decisions and prioritize your needs.

Love should uplift, inspire, and nurture.

Loves’s about finding someone who respects your boundaries, celebrates your individuality, and walks alongside you through life’s joys and challenges.

Reflect on Your Values: Take time to define your core values, boundaries, and deal breakers. What are the qualities you seek in a partner, and what behaviors are non-negotiable for you?

Communicate Openly: Discuss deal breakers with your partner early on. Share your expectations and listen to theirs with empathy and understanding.

Seek Professional Help: If you’re struggling with relationship issues or feel uncertain about navigating deal breakers, seek guidance from a therapist or counselor.

Prioritize Self-Love: Remember, you deserve a relationship that aligns with your values, respects your boundaries, and fosters your happiness. Don’t settle for less than you deserve.

Embrace Growth: Relationships are a journey of learning and growth. Be open to re-evaluating your deal breakers as you evolve and learn more about yourself and your partner.

Trust Your Intuition: If something feels off, don’t ignore it. Listen to your inner voice and honor your instincts.

Cultivate Healthy Connections: Surround yourself with friends, family, and support systems who encourage healthy relationships and empower you to make choices that align with your well-being.

If you are looking for a more in depth guide on relationship deal breakers – I highly reccommend this book:

‘Deal Breakers’: Dr. Bethany Marshall’s Guide to Healthy Relationships“

Are you tired of questioning your worth in relationships with emotionally unhealthy men? Dr. Bethany Marshall’s book, ‘Deal Breakers,’ is your roadmap to freedom from relationship purgatory. Discover how to identify your non-negotiable boundaries and take back control of your happiness. Through relatable case studies and actionable advice, this book empowers women to redefine their relationships on their terms. Say goodbye to endless struggles and hello to the fulfilling love you deserve.

Love is a beautiful adventure, but it’s also a journey of self-discovery. By understanding your relationship deal breakers, communicating openly, and prioritizing your values, you can navigate the complexities of relationships with wisdom and grace, forging connections that honor your worth and nurture your soul. Did I miss any of your non negotiables? What are your relationship red flags?

https://www.jaunty.org/blog/relationship-deal-breakers-and-red-flags/