11 Surprising Selfish Things Women Do in Relationships – According to Men

What Are Selfish Things Women Do In Relationships?

Relationships are all about balance, but sometimes, little selfish habits can throw things off. From putting their own needs first to unintentionally dismissing their partner’s efforts, these behaviors can create tension and frustration. The sad thing is, many of us may not know we are doing them.

Really, what each of these points boils down to is a lack of investment in the relationship. Let’s begin…

Key Takeaways:

• Effective communication is essential for a healthy relationship, and withholding it can create unnecessary frustration and distance.
• Balancing personal needs with the partnership’s needs is essential to maintaining mutual respect and satisfaction.
• Compromise and empathy are cornerstones of a successful relationship, and neglecting these can strain emotional connections.
• Recognizing and supporting each other’s goals strengthens a relationship, while disregard for them can create resentment.
• Accountability, affection, and the avoidance of manipulative behaviors are fundamental to trust and intimacy.

This article is not to slam us as women, but to reveal possible things we may not realize as being seen as selfish by men, which could lead to resentment later in the relationship.

While many of these may not be surprising, some are.

At least one was to me.

Selfish Act # 6 being overly dependent was a little shocking to me.

I had never looked at dependency as being among selfish things women do in relationships, but when I think about it, I can see why.

Men have a lot of pressure – real or perceived – in life. Especially after kids come along. He’s got all these people and mouths to feed, along with work, taking care of home, car repairs, maintenance, etc.

We live in a rural area. You’d be amazed at how much care two acres takes. I see him out there nearly every weekend trying to keep up the maintenance on everything– including a 1985 Case skip loader Tractor because there was NO WAY we had $25k for a newer tractor.

In light of this, I have tried to take on a more independent mindset so I don’t have to add to the pressure he may already be feeling. This has worked well for me because should I ever find myself single, I’ll be on my own anyway.

I’ll figure things out on my own before calling for help. It’s just the right thing to do!

Here’s a straightforward look at 11 surprising things women do, from a guy’s perspective, that can shake up a relationship.

Selfish Act #1: Lack of Communication

Effective communication is the cornerstone of successful relationships.

A lack of communication within a relationship can be seen as selfish things women do in relationships, due to its potential to create a sense of exclusion and frustration.

When a partner fails to openly express thoughts, feelings, or concerns, it leaves the other person in the dark, struggling with uncertainty.

This lack of transparency can make it challenging for a man to understand his partner’s needs, fears, or desires, hindering the emotional connection between them.

It can come across as ignoring the teamwork needed in relationships since good communication isn’t just about sharing information but also building a mutual understanding

A man might interpret this behavior as a form of self-preservation, where the woman is prioritizing her comfort or avoiding discomfort at the expense of the relationship’s growth and intimacy.

In essence, withholding communication might be viewed as a self-centric act that disregards the mutual responsibility for maintaining a healthy emotional connection within the partnership.

Selfish Act #2: Prioritizing Personal Needs Over Partnership

While self-care is essential, neglecting the needs of a partner can lead to feelings of neglect.

When a woman consistently puts her personal needs ahead of the relationship, it can come across as selfish because it creates an imbalance in the partnership.

While self-care is definitely important for personal well-being, relationships flourish when there’s mutual respect and consideration.

When one partner consistently places their personal needs above the collective needs of the partnership, it may create a sense of neglect in the man. He might feel like the relationship is one-sided, with his needs taking a back seat.

Selfish Act #3: Refusal to Compromise

Compromise is a fundamental aspect of any partnership.

From a man’s perspective, a refusal to compromise in a relationship can be perceived as selfish things women do in relationships due to its potential to create an atmosphere of rigidity and imbalance.

A healthy partnership thrives when both of you meet each other halfway, creating an environment where both perspectives are heard and respected.

When one person consistently refuses to compromise, it may signal that personal preferences are being prioritized over the relationship’s well-being. This can lead to frustration and make the man feel powerless, as it might seem his needs are being ignored.

Compromise is essential for mutual growth. Refusing to engage in it can come across as selfish, putting personal desires ahead of the collaborative effort needed for a relationship to succeed.

To the man, this behavior may indicate a lack of commitment to building a strong, lasting relationship.

Selfish Act #4: Lack of Empathy

Empathy is essential for understanding and supporting a partner.

A perceived lack of empathy in a woman can be seen as selfish things women do in relationships because it hinders the emotional connection that is essential for a thriving relationship.

Empathy is the ability to understand and connect with your partner’s feelings, creating a sense of support and mutual understanding.

Without empathy, the man may feel emotionally isolated and unsupported. If a woman struggles to tune into her partner’s emotions, it can seem like she’s more focused on her own feelings, making him feel unheard or dismissed. This creates emotional distance in the relationship.

Empathy is the glue that holds a partnership together. Without it, the connection can start to break down. From the man’s viewpoint, a lack of empathy may suggest a failure to fully invest in the emotional side of the relationship, making it harder to face life’s challenges together. Building empathy is key to creating a strong, supportive foundation in any relationship.

Selfish Act #5: Failure to Acknowledge Partner’s Needs

Acknowledging and responding to a partner’s needs is vital for relationship satisfaction.

The failure of a woman to acknowledge and address his needs within a relationship can be perceived as selfish things women do in relationships, cultivating a sense of neglect and frustration.

A partnership is a shared journey where both people bring their needs, dreams, and concerns to the table.

When one partner repeatedly ignores or dismisses the other’s needs, it can lead to feelings of isolation and the belief that the relationship is one-sided and that you just don’t care.

The man might see this behavior as a sign that his well-being isn’t valued and that there’s a lack of effort to build a balanced, fulfilling relationship. Ignoring a partner’s needs can come across as putting personal comfort ahead of the teamwork needed for the relationship to grow.

Addressing each other’s needs is key to creating a strong and rewarding partnership.

Selfish Act # 6: Being Overly Dependent

While interdependence is healthy, over-dependence can lead to feelings of suffocation.

An overly dependent partner can be perceived as selfish things women do in relationships due to the potential imbalance it introduces into the relationship.

Interdependence in a relationship is about mutual support, but too much dependence can lead to feelings of suffocation and blur personal boundaries.

A man may view an overly dependent partner as focusing on her own emotional needs while disregarding his need for individuality. The feeling of suffocation comes from the belief that personal space and autonomy are being compromised, making it tough to find a healthy balance between quality time together and time apart. This behavior can seem self-centered, as the woman’s emotional fulfillment takes priority without considering her partner’s need for space and independence.

For the man, maintaining individual identities within a relationship is key to preserving a sense of self and ensuring that both partners can thrive. Finding the right balance between being interdependent and maintaining individuality is vital for healthy relationships.

Selfish Act # 7: Manipulative Behavior

Manipulation can erode trust and cause emotional distress.

Manipulative behavior in a woman can be perceived as selfish things women do in relationships due to its potential to undermine trust and create emotional distress.

Manipulation is when one partner tries to control or influence the other through subtle tactics instead of open and honest communication.

A man might see manipulative behavior as someone putting her own desires or needs first, undermining trust and transparency in the relationship. Being manipulated can cause emotional disconnect, as trust fades and the foundation of the relationship starts to crumble.

From a man’s perspective, manipulation signals a lack of genuine engagement and a self-centered approach to the relationship. Open, honest communication is essential for a strong bond, and manipulation goes against trust and mutual understanding.

Selfish Act # 8: Disregard for Partner’s Goals and Aspirations

Supporting each other’s goals and aspirations is important for a thriving relationship.

From a man’s perspective, a partner’s disregard for his goals and aspirations can be perceived as selfish things women do in relationships due to the potential strain it places on the foundation of support within the relationship.

A partnership isn’t just about sharing experiences; it’s about actively supporting and encouraging each other’s personal growth.

When a woman seems uninterested or dismissive of her partner’s goals, it can come across as self-centered and lacking mutual support. The man may feel unsupported and undervalued, which can lead to a sense of isolation as he pursues his personal ambitions.

In a healthy relationship, partners should be each other’s biggest cheerleaders, offering motivation and support to overcome obstacles.

Ignoring a partner’s dreams can create distance, and the man may see it as a lack of investment in his future. Supporting each other’s goals is key to building a relationship that’s fulfilling for both of you, and encourages individual growth.

Selfish Act # 9: Failure to Take Responsibility

Accountability is a key component of a healthy relationship.

From a man’s perspective, a partner’s failure to take responsibility for her actions can be perceived as selfish things women do in relationships, creating a sense of frustration and impeding the growth of the relationship.

Accountability is a key element of a strong relationship, where both people take responsibility for their role in conflicts or challenges. When one partner avoids owning up to their actions, it can seem like they’re putting their own comfort above the effort needed to resolve issues.

The man may feel like he’s carrying the weight of accountability alone, which can breed resentment and prevent open communication. Taking responsibility is needed for growth and problem-solving within a relationship. Without it, the couple may struggle to work through challenges together.

From the man’s perspective, a partner’s reluctance to own her actions might signal a lack of commitment to teamwork in the relationship, making it hard to build trust and understanding. Embracing accountability is essential for creating a strong, communicative partnership.

Selfish Act # 10: Withholding Affection

Affection and intimacy are vital for maintaining a strong emotional connection.

From a man’s perspective, a partner withholding affection can be perceived as selfish things women do in relationships due to its potential to create emotional distance and undermine the foundation of intimacy.

Affection is key to building a strong emotional connection in a relationship. When a woman holds back love and warmth, it can feel like she’s putting her own emotional comfort ahead of the shared need for closeness.

The man may feel emotionally neglected and question the strength of the relationship. Affection is a way to show love and strengthen emotional bonds. When it’s withheld, he may feel isolated and long for the closeness that affection brings.

From his perspective, a partner’s reluctance to show affection could indicate a lack of investment in the emotional health of the relationship. That’s why expressing love and warmth is so important for creating a space where both partners feel emotionally fulfilled and connected.

Selfish Act # 11: Inconsistent Effort

Consistency in effort contributes to the longevity of a relationship.

From a man’s perspective, a partner’s inconsistent effort in a relationship can be seen as selfish things women do in relationships, as it introduces a sense of uncertainty and imbalance.

Consistency is key to building trust and a strong emotional foundation. When a woman’s contributions to the relationship fluctuate—whether it’s time, attention, or support—it can come across as prioritizing her own convenience over the shared commitment to the partnership.

The man might start to feel uncertain about his partner’s reliability, leading to insecurity and frustration. Consistent effort shows dedication and actively supports the growth of the relationship.

From his perspective, inconsistency may signal a lack of interest in their shared journey, making it tough to build a lasting and fulfilling relationship. That’s why both partners need to stay committed to consistently contributing to the relationship’s growth and well-being.

Wrapping Up

Relationships are dynamic, and behaviors that may be perceived as selfish can vary based on each of your perspectives. This is a chance to reflect on what might affect your relationship, and to have honest conversations for mutual growth and understanding.

FAQ: Selfish Things Women Do in Relationships

1. What are common selfish things women do in relationships?
Neglecting their partner’s needs, prioritizing their own desires, and refusing to compromise are some selfish behaviors that can harm a relationship.

2. How can selfishness affect a relationship?
Selfish behavior can create resentment, communication breakdowns, and a lack of emotional intimacy, ultimately weakening the bond between partners.

3. Do women realize when they’re being selfish in a relationship?
Not always. Sometimes selfish actions stem from personal struggles or unawareness of how their behavior impacts their partner.

4. Why do women put their needs first in relationships?
This can happen when they feel unfulfilled, unheard, or when they’re focusing on self-care without considering their partner’s needs.

5. How can women avoid selfish behavior in a relationship?
Practice active listening, communicate openly, and prioritize mutual respect. A balance between self-care and partnership is key.

6. What selfish habits should women watch out for?
Ignoring their partner’s input, dominating decision-making, or withholding affection to manipulate can be signs of selfishness.

7. Can selfishness be fixed in a relationship?
Yes, addressing selfishness requires open communication, empathy, and a willingness to work together to rebuild trust and harmony.

8. Is it selfish to want personal time in a relationship?
No, personal time is healthy. It becomes selfish when personal time consistently overrides the needs of the relationship.

9. How do you talk about selfishness without causing conflict?
Approach the topic calmly and respectfully, focusing on how the behavior affects you rather than placing blame.

10. What if selfishness becomes a pattern in a relationship?
Consider seeking professional guidance or having honest conversations about whether both partners’ needs are being met fairly.