What Are Selfish Things Women Do In Relationships?

Relationships are all about balance, but sometimes, little selfish habits can throw things off. From putting your own needs first to unintentionally dismissing your partner’s efforts, these behaviors can create major tension and frustration.

The sad thing is, many of us may not know we are doing them.😔

Really, what each of these points boils down to is a lack of investment in the relationship.

Let’s begin…

Key Takeaways:

• 👉Effective communication is essential for a healthy relationship, and withholding it can create unnecessary frustration and distance.
• 👉Balancing personal needs with the partnership’s needs is essential to maintaining mutual respect and satisfaction.
• 👉Compromise and empathy are cornerstones of a successful relationship, and neglecting these can strain emotional connections.
• 👉Recognizing and supporting each other’s goals strengthens a relationship, while disregard for them can create resentment.
• 👉Accountability, affection, and the avoidance of manipulative behaviors are fundamental to trust and intimacy.

This article is not to slam us as women, but to reveal possible things we may not realize as being seen as selfish by men, which could lead to resentment later in the relationship.

While many of these may not be surprising, some are.

At least one was to me.

Selfish Act # 6 being overly dependent was a little shocking to me.

I had never looked at dependency as being among selfish things women do in relationships, but when I think about it, I can see why.

Men have a lot of pressure – real or perceived – in life. Especially after kids come along. He’s got all these people and mouths to feed, along with work, taking care of home, car repairs, maintenance, etc.

In light of this, I have tried to take on a more independent mindset so I don’t have to add to the pressure he may already be feeling. This has worked well for me because should I ever find myself single, I’ll be on my own anyway.

I’ll figure things out on my own before calling for help. It’s the right thing to do!

Here’s a straightforward look at 11 surprising things women do, from a guy’s perspective, that can shake up a relationship.

Selfish Act #1: Lack of Communication

Open and honest communication is what keeps a relationship strong.

When communication starts to fade, it can sometimes be perceived as one of the selfish things women do in relationships, especially when it leaves their partner feeling left out or confused.

If a woman chooses not to share her thoughts, emotions, or worries, her partner may be left guessing and feeling disconnected.

This kind of silence can make it hard for a man to truly understand what she needs, what she’s afraid of, or what she wants—making it harder to stay emotionally close.

It may seem like she’s overlooking the importance of teamwork in a relationship. Communication isn’t just about talking—it’s about building a shared understanding.

To her partner, this might feel like she’s putting her own comfort first, trying to avoid tough conversations instead of facing them for the sake of their connection.

So, holding back in communication could come off as a self-focused move, one that doesn’t support the shared effort needed to keep the relationship emotionally safe and healthy.

Selfish Act #2: Prioritizing Personal Needs Over Partnership

Taking care of yourself is important, but consistently overlooking your partner’s needs can obviously leave them feeling neglected.

One of the selfish things women do in relationships is putting their own needs ahead of the relationship too often, which can throw things off balance and make the partnership feel unequal.

Self-care matters for personal health and happiness, no doubt—but strong relationships grow when both people show mutual respect and care for each other’s needs.

When a woman frequently prioritizes herself over the relationship, her partner might start to feel like his needs don’t matter. It can leave him feeling like he’s in a one-sided relationship where he’s always the one compromising.

Selfish Act #3: Refusal to Compromise

Compromise is a key part of any healthy relationship.

From a man’s perspective, when a woman refuses to compromise, it can feel like one of the selfish things women do in relationships, especially when it leads to a sense of inflexibility and imbalance.

Strong partnerships grow when both partners are willing to meet in the middle, making space for each other’s views and needs.

If compromise is always off the table, it can seem like personal wants are being placed above the relationship itself. This can leave a man feeling overlooked and powerless, as though his needs don’t matter.

Mutual growth comes from give-and-take. Refusing to compromise can look like a self-serving choice, one that puts individual desires ahead of the shared work that makes a relationship thrive.

To him, this might signal that she’s not truly invested in creating a lasting, meaningful relationship.

Selfish Act #4: Lack of Empathy

When a woman lacks empathy, it can come across as one of the selfish because it puts a strain on the emotional glue that keeps a relationship strong.

Empathy means being able to truly understand and connect with your partner’s emotions, helping them feel supported and seen.

If a woman has trouble tuning in to how her partner feels, it might seem like she’s more wrapped up in her own emotions. This can leave him feeling unheard, dismissed, and emotionally distant.

That’s why building empathy is so important—it helps create a relationship that’s supportive, understanding, and built to last.

Selfish Act #5: Failure to Acknowledge Partner’s Needs

When a woman doesn’t take the time to acknowledge or meet her partner’s needs, it can be seen as one of the selfish things women do in relationships, leading to feelings of being overlooked and unimportant.

When one person keeps ignoring or brushing off the other’s needs, it can leave their partner feeling isolated and wondering if the relationship is even a priority.

To a man, this might feel like his emotional well-being isn’t important and that there’s little effort being made to create a supportive, equal partnership. Choosing to ignore what your partner needs can look like valuing personal comfort over the relationship.

Selfish Act # 6: Being Overly Dependent

While interdependence is healthy, over-dependence can lead to feelings of suffocation.

Interdependence in a relationship means supporting each other, but when it tips into over-dependence, it can feel overwhelming and blur the lines of personal space.

A man might see an overly dependent partner as someone who’s focused solely on her emotional needs, without recognizing his need for space and individuality. That feeling of being smothered often comes from the sense that his autonomy is being chipped away, making it hard to balance togetherness with time apart.

This kind of behavior is one of the more surprising selfish things women do in relationships—putting emotional reassurance above the partner’s need for independence.

For many men, keeping their own identity within a relationship helps them feel grounded and capable of giving their best to the partnership. That’s why striking the right balance between closeness and independence is so important to keep the relationship healthy and growing.

Selfish Act # 7: Manipulative Behavior

Manipulation can quietly chip away at trust and leave behind emotional turmoil.

Manipulation usually shows up when someone tries to steer their partner’s actions or feelings through indirect tactics instead of being upfront and sincere.

From a man’s point of view, this can feel like a betrayal—like she’s choosing control over connection. It weakens the trust between them and makes the relationship feel less secure and authentic.

Being on the receiving end of manipulation can create a deep emotional divide, making him feel disconnected and uncertain about the relationship’s foundation.

To him, this behavior suggests a lack of true emotional investment and signals a self-serving attitude that puts open communication and mutual respect on the back burner.

Selfish Act # 8: Disregard for Partner’s Goals and Aspirations

Supporting each other’s dreams and ambitions plays a major role in a thriving relationship.

When a woman seems to overlook or disregard his goals, it puts stress on the core foundation of emotional support.

Being in a relationship isn’t just about sharing life—it’s also about lifting each other up and being genuinely invested in one another’s personal growth.

If a woman comes across as uninterested or dismissive when it comes to her partner’s goals, it can look like she’s only focused on her own priorities. This can leave the man feeling unappreciated and alone in his journey, making him question whether the relationship is truly a partnership.

In a healthy dynamic, both people should cheer each other on, helping one another push through challenges and chase their dreams.

When that support is missing, it can create distance and signal to the man that his future doesn’t really matter to her.

Selfish Act # 9: Failure to Take Responsibility

For men, when their partner doesn’t take responsibility for her actions, it can come across as selfish, leaving them frustrated and stalling the relationship’s growth. Relationships thrive when both people are willing to own their part in any conflicts or challenges. If one partner refuses to acknowledge their role, it might feel like they’re prioritizing their own comfort over resolving the issue at hand.

When that happens, it can feel like the man is carrying all the responsibility for fixing things, which can build resentment and close off open communication. Accountability is key to problem-solving and moving forward together as a couple. Without it, working through challenges becomes much harder.

From a man’s point of view, when a partner avoids owning her actions, it can suggest a lack of commitment to working as a team, which makes it harder to build trust and understanding. Embracing accountability is essential for a strong, communicative partnership.

Selfish Act # 10: Withholding Affection

For many men, when a partner pulls back on affection, it can feel like one of the selfish things women do in relationships. This can create emotional distance and shake the foundation of intimacy. When a woman holds back love or warmth, it might seem like she’s prioritizing her own emotional comfort over the shared need for closeness.

The man may feel punished or emotionally neglected and start questioning the strength of the relationship. Without showing love, he may feel isolated, longing for the closeness and connection affection naturally brings.

Selfish Act # 11: Inconsistent Effort

From a man’s point of view, when his partner’s effort is inconsistent, it can feel like one of the selfish things women do in relationships. This introduces a sense of uncertainty and imbalance, making it harder to feel secure within the relationship.

Consistency is essential for building trust and a strong emotional foundation. When a woman’s contributions—whether it’s her time, attention, or support—fluctuate, it can seem like she’s putting her own convenience above the shared commitment to the relationship.

The man may start to feel unsure about whether he can rely on his partner, which leads to insecurity and frustration. Consistent effort is a sign of dedication, and it actively supports the relationship’s growth.

From his perspective, inconsistency might signal a lack of investment in their shared future, which makes it harder to build a fulfilling and lasting relationship.

Wrapping Up

Relationships are dynamic, and behaviors that may be perceived as selfish can vary based on each of your perspectives. This is a chance to reflect on what might affect your relationship, and to have honest conversations for mutual growth and understanding.

FAQ: Selfish Things Women Do in Relationships

1. What are common selfish things women do in relationships?
Neglecting their partner’s needs, prioritizing their own desires, and refusing to compromise are some selfish behaviors that can harm a relationship.

2. How can selfishness affect a relationship?
Selfish behavior can create resentment, communication breakdowns, and a lack of emotional intimacy, ultimately weakening the bond between partners.

3. Do women realize when they’re being selfish in a relationship?
Not always. Sometimes selfish actions stem from personal struggles or unawareness of how their behavior impacts their partner.

4. Why do women put their needs first in relationships?
This can happen when they feel unfulfilled, unheard, or when they’re focusing on self-care without considering their partner’s needs.

5. How can women avoid selfish behavior in a relationship?
Practice active listening, communicate openly, and prioritize mutual respect. A balance between self-care and partnership is key.

6. What selfish habits should women watch out for?
Ignoring their partner’s input, dominating decision-making, or withholding affection to manipulate can be signs of selfishness.

7. Can selfishness be fixed in a relationship?
Yes, addressing selfishness requires open communication, empathy, and a willingness to work together to rebuild trust and harmony.

8. Is it selfish to want personal time in a relationship?
No, personal time is healthy. It becomes selfish when personal time consistently overrides the needs of the relationship.

9. How do you talk about selfishness without causing conflict?
Approach the topic calmly and respectfully, focusing on how the behavior affects you rather than placing blame.

10. What if selfishness becomes a pattern in a relationship?
Consider seeking professional guidance or having honest conversations about whether both partners’ needs are being met fairly.