When I first began as a relationship writer, I was often taken aback by the comments men make, especially when discussing the absurd reasons why some men hate single moms.

This isn’t something that I ever thought of when I was younger and dating. It never crossed my mind until reading some men’s comments recently.

Of course, I knew of the obvious reasons, but the hate and stereotypes about single moms were surprising to me. To be honest, their views around happily single women, or just women in general, were mind-blowing, as well.

Never mind if they were a mom – or not! She’s a woman, and that’s all that matters to them. Can’t win for losing with some of these guys. I stopped trying years ago.

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It’s not as if single mom’s often times hellish lives aren’t difficult enough already, without out-dated stigma surrounding their situation persisting. I remember when my mom was single and raising my younger brother, and some landlords wouldn’t even rent to her for being a single mom with a teenage boy! This wasn’t the 50’s or 60’s either. This took place in the early 9os. Mind blown!

Stereotypes About Single Moms

The stereotypes held by men who hate single moms are not only shocking, but also incredibly narrow-minded. Some even go as far as blaming the mother for her situation, despite knowing nothing about her, or the circumstances that led her to where she is.

Some men who may subscribe to stereotypes about single moms might be that they are desperate, or settling for whatever bread crumbs that a man – any man, tosses her way.

This stigma might make men feel that single mothers are not looking for a genuine connection, but rather just someone to fill in as a defacto dad and provider, or serve as a placeholder.

Before we dive into the nitty-gritty, here’s a quick peek at what you’re about to learn:

Key Highlights

• Why men see single moms as entitled and how it fuels their resentment.
• The underlying fear of competition that plays a big role in why men hate single moms.
• How men feel about the emotional baggage that comes with dating someone who’s been through a breakup.
• The common misconceptions about single moms being “used goods” and why it’s a massive red flag.
• How the idea of taking on financial responsibility for someone else’s kids can be a dealbreaker.

Why Some Men Hate Single Moms: The Hard Truth About Their Deep-Seated Disdain

No sugarcoating it – men’s disdain for single moms isn’t a rare phenomenon—it’s a pattern that shows up everywhere, from Reddit threads to bar room gossip.

Sure, we hear all the standard reasons: “I don’t want to raise someone else’s kids” or “I don’t want the drama from the baby daddy.” But let’s dig a little deeper.

Why, exactly, do so many men feel this kind of visceral disdain for single mothers? Spoiler alert: It’s not just about the kids. No, it runs deeper, and it’s not pretty.

Now, let’s go.

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1. The Entitlement Complex

Let’s start with one of the juiciest complaints I see from men who just can’t seem to get over their disdain for single moms: the entitlement.

“Why should I be expected to do more for her and her kids than her ex ever did?” they say.

It’s almost as if they think every single mom out there is waving a magic wand and demanding men cater to her just because she has a kid. Sure, some do – some of the moms you see all over Tiktok twerking, and a giant wish list of what a man needs to “bring to the table” for “this queen”.

This assumption comes from a deeper place. Some men view single moms as entitled because, in their minds, these women are looking for someone to pick up the slack, and fulfill needs that they shouldn’t have to.

They’re resentful of the fact that single moms may need help or support in ways that other women wouldn’t. And no, I’m not talking about basic partnership stuff—I’m talking about extra emotional or financial labor.

To some men, it’s a red flag. “I didn’t sign up for all this,” they think, since relationships (and parenting) are about teamwork.

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2. A History of “Poor Choices“

Here’s another one that often pops up: “Dating a single mom shows a history of poor choices.”

Ouch, right??

But this is a real sentiment that gets thrown around. Some men, after doing an “initial examination,” as one Redditor put it, just can’t seem to see past the fact that she’s had a past relationship that ended with a kid.

This judgment is based on a belief that if she couldn’t get it right the first time, why bother?

Of course, this viewpoint ignores the fact that many single moms have made choices for very valid reasons—whether it’s because their previous relationship was abusive, ended due to a partner’s infidelity, or simply because they grew apart.

But that doesn’t matter to the guy who’s worried about his reputation or is just looking for an idealized, drama-free relationship.

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3. Fear of Competition with the Ex

Now, let’s get to the juicy, emotional side of why some men hate single moms: competition with the ex.

Imagine being a guy who’s trying to date someone, and the biological father of her kids is still around, possibly calling the shots on visitation, influencing decisions, or just showing up randomly in her life.

That’s a major issue for men. They don’t want to be second fiddle to someone else, even if that someone is an ex.

This fear of competing for emotional space is real. Most guys know they can’t take the kid’s father’s place, and have no desire to.

However, men often fear they won’t be able to fully take the place of the child’s father in the woman’s heart, and that the ex might always have a presence in the relationship.

This fear can lead to men pulling away, because let’s face it—who wants to date someone when you’re constantly worried about that guy?

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4. The “Used Goods” Perception

Here’s a big one that ties into society’s nasty double standards: the idea of single moms as “used goods.”

Yep, I said it. There’s an unfortunate stereotype that women with kids are somehow “damaged” or have “baggage.” It’s like men think they’re going to inherit a broken woman just because she’s already had a child and didn’t make it work with her previous partner.

This perception is rooted in patriarchal values, where a woman’s worth is tied to her ability to maintain a traditional, intact family. It’s problematic, yes, but it’s also a huge barrier when it comes to men seeing single mothers as valuable partners.

These men can’t seem to see past the fact that she’s already been with someone else – no matter how many partners he may have had.

It’s an insecurity that doesn’t often get talked about, but it’s there.

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5. The Baggage Battle

Oh, the baggage. Men hate single moms partly because they assume there’s too much emotional luggage to unpack. Relationships don’t come with an emotional clean slate, even when you’re dating someone who’s been through a breakup and has kids.

And let’s not forget that single moms often come with bitterness and the pain of a failed relationship, the guilt of their kids growing up in a non-traditional family structure, and the battle of juggling a child’s needs while dating.

From a man’s perspective, this can be an overwhelming thought. The assumption is that a single mom is emotionally unavailable or too tangled up in her past to offer any meaningful connection.

That’s not always the case, but it’s definitely a stereotype that turns some men off. The belief that you can’t have a fresh start with someone who has children is common.

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6. The “Baby Daddy Drama”

Let’s address one of the big buzzwords: baby daddy drama. Men who hate single moms often talk about how much drama they expect from the ex-partner.

The idea of dealing with an ex who’s still actively involved in the woman’s life—whether it’s in a co-parenting capacity or just because they refuse to let go—can be a massive turnoff.

The worst part? Even if the ex is absent, these men assume the “drama” will show up eventually. They’re scared of the tension, the power struggles, and the fact that their relationship might be constantly tested by the presence of another man.

Men just don’t want to sign up for that extra layer of complexity.

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7. Financial Fears: The Hidden Responsibility

Here’s another sticking point: financial responsibility. Men who hate single moms sometimes worry about the possibility of being financially responsible for the children—either in formal ways (child support, for example) or more informal ones (helping with bills, paying for activities).

Even if the woman isn’t asking for this, the fear of being on the hook financially is a huge deterrent.

They’ll often express concern about the risks of being expected to step into a fatherly role without the benefits of being the actual father.

This, combined with the complexities of modern family courts, where men are sometimes forced to pay child support, adds fuel to the fire of resentment.

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8. Single Moms “Breed Criminals”

A troubling stereotype many men hold is the belief that single mothers are responsible for raising troubled children. They even went as far as claiming single moms “breed criminals.”

How quaint!

Did it ever occur to them that kids being without a DAD could “breed criminals” as well!?

This harmful perception links single motherhood to a higher likelihood of kids turning out badly, neglecting the complexities of parenting and socio-economic factors.

In reality, this stereotype is baseless and oversimplified. Men who subscribe to this view may avoid dating single mothers out of fear their kids will be a bad influence or cause social problems, which overlooks the many well-adjusted, successful children raised in single-parent households.

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9. Scheduling Nightmares

Lastly, let’s talk logistics. Men who have disdain for single moms complain about the scheduling nightmares involved in dating one.

Between school events, sports practices, and the endless stream of daily responsibilities, finding time to spend together can be a major struggle.

And honestly, some men aren’t here for it. The idea of constantly having to adjust their own schedule or deal with the constraints of a child’s timetable can feel suffocating.

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The Bottom Line

While men hating single moms can seem like a shallow, oversimplified response, the reality is much more layered. There’s fear, there’s judgment, and there’s a lot of societal baggage attached to it.

Many of these men are operating under preconceived stereotypes about single moms being “damaged goods,” being emotionally unavailable, or being overly complicated.

The truth? There’s a lot more nuance to dating a single mother, and while some men may stay on the sidelines, others embrace the challenges and see it as a chance to build something meaningful.

But for those who just can’t get past their disdain for single moms, the stereotypes will always rule the day—no matter how much they try to deny it.

FAQ For Why Some Men Hate Single Moms

1. Why do some men hate single moms?
Men often dislike single moms due to stereotypes, emotional baggage, fears of financial responsibility, or concerns about competition with the child’s father.

2. What are the stereotypes about single moms?
Common stereotypes about single moms include being seen as “damaged goods,” having made poor life choices, or being overly dependent on others. These ideas are rooted in societal biases.

3. How does disdain for single moms impact relationships?
Disdain for single moms can lead to emotional distance, jealousy, and distrust, making it hard for men to see them as potential partners without judgment.

4. Why are some men concerned about emotional baggage with single moms?
Men often worry that single moms carry unresolved emotional issues from past relationships, which could make it difficult for them to form new, healthy connections.

5. Do men fear competition with the ex?
Yes, many men feel threatened by the child’s father, fearing they’ll always be second place or that the ex will constantly be involved in the woman’s life.

6. Why do men think single moms are entitled?
Some men feel single moms expect more than they’re willing to give, believing these women want extra help or financial support just because they have children, leading to resentment.

7. How does financial responsibility affect men’s feelings toward single moms?
The fear of being financially responsible for someone else’s children, even informally, makes many men hesitant to get involved with single moms, worrying about long-term costs and obligations.

8. Are single moms viewed as “damaged goods” by some men?
Yes, some men view single moms as less desirable because they have children from a previous relationship, seeing them as having more emotional baggage or less value.

9. Do single moms face challenges with dating because of their kids?
Yes, many men fear that single moms prioritize their children over a relationship, leading to feelings of being second or unimportant. This can complicate dating dynamics.

10. Why do some men think single moms are “bad for society”?
There’s a belief, rooted in stereotypes, that single mothers are to blame for societal problems like delinquency or poverty, which feeds into the negative perception of them.