Some men never really let go. He’s in love with his ex – but with you, and all the casual “I’m over her” lines, are just that – lines. There are subtle signs he’s still stuck on his ex, and little clues he still loves her, whether he knows it or not. Spotting his phony lip service early can save you from wasting time, energy, and feelings on someone whose heart is still somewhere else.

💡Key Highlights:

• The subtle signs he hasn’t moved on from his ex
• Backhanded “compliments” that secretly reveal he’s still stuck on her
• Why random jokes and comparisons are giant red flags
• How constant victimhood or oversharing trauma points to unfinished business
• The excuses men use to keep contact alive with an ex

How to Tell if He’s in Love With His Ex

So, how do you actually spot the signs he hasn’t moved on from his ex? The truth is, he probably won’t come right out and say, he’s still stuck on his ex. Instead, you’ll notice small clues he still loves her, that add up fast. If you’re paying attention, it won’t take long to figure out he’s not over her.

💔The Most Obvious Sign He’s Not Over His Ex

Of course a man who still constantly talks about her is a blaring red flag, but you may be surprised how many women willfully ignore it.

Notice how often he sneaks her into the conversation. If he’s casually name-dropping his ex in stories, comparing you to her, or dragging this woman into topics that have nothing to do with her, that’s not harmless chit-chat. That’s a guy whose head (and heart) is still camped out in the past. It’s one of the loudest signs he hasn’t moved on from his ex, no matter how much he insists otherwise.

💔Watch His Social Media Posts

Then there’s the social media detective work. His online footprint usually says what his mouth won’t. Scroll through his profiles: are there couple photos that mysteriously “never got deleted”? Is he posting about how “all the good women are taken” or how “being single sucks”?

Maybe he’s flat-out bashing her in cryptic posts. Those rants aren’t just venting – they’re neon clues he still loves her or, at the very least, that he lives in the past and he’s still stuck on his ex. If was really over her, he wouldn’t feel the need bash her, in any way.

Watch how he interacts with his ex. Still liking her photos, dropping comments, or keeping up regular conversations? That’s not nothing. Even casual mentions can reveal a lot, like the guy who brags about his signed photo of a famous actor, then suddenly starts ranting about how his ex still had it and announced he needed to text her to get it back. If she’s still woven into his stories and excuses, chances are he’s not over her.

Even if he’s calling her names to you (which is another red flag.) If he talks about her like that, he likely will do the same to you. Plus, it’s low class, and may show his real feelings about women in general.

💔Comparison in the Form of a Compliment
One of the sneakier signs he hasn’t moved on from his ex is the way he dresses up comparisons as compliments. You order a glass of wine, and suddenly he’s grinning: “Wow, I didn’t think you liked red wine. I love that you can appreciate a good Cabernet.” Sounds harmless, until he adds, “My ex hated wine.” That’s not about you, and it’s one of the clues he still loves her, because he’s clearly measuring you against her.

It doesn’t stop there. Maybe you show up in sneakers for a casual date and he blurts out, “Nice! You’re not high-maintenance at all. My ex would never leave the house without heels.” When every compliment circles back to her, it’s obvious he’s still stuck on his ex and is looking for any excuse to bring her up.

💔Recreating the Good Old Days

Another subtle sign he hasn’t moved on from his ex is the way he tries to relive all the “good times” he had with her, but with you as a stand in. You’re not her, but if he’s in love with his ex, he’ll keep lining you up against her like it’s some kind of competition.

Maybe he insists on dragging you to all the restaurants they used to go to, or wants to recreate trips he “never got to take” when they were together. Suddenly, you’re not building your own memories; you’re helping him relive hers.

💔Pay Attention to the “Jokes” He Makes

Another of the subtle clues he still loves her shows up in his “jokes.” They won’t always land as funny, and sometimes they’ll just feel …off.

For example: you mention you like to cook, and instead of engaging, he bursts out laughing. You ask what’s so funny, and he launches into a story about how his ex once ruined a pasta dinner, then spends five minutes trash-talking her cooking skills. He thinks he’s being witty, but what he’s really doing is dragging his ex into the conversation uninvited. Look past the “humor” and get real about it because it’s one of the sneaky signs he hasn’t moved on from his ex.

Or it could be more subtle. Maybe you order a latte, and he smirks, “At least you don’t order frappes.” You’re left wondering why he even said that, until it clicks that he’s still stuck on his ex, and she’s the one who used to order them.

💔He Meets Her “by Chance” in Random Public Places

One of the biggest signs he hasn’t moved on from his ex is how he handles “accidental run-ins.” Honestly, he shouldn’t be bumping into her all the time, and if it does happen, the only acceptable reaction is to treat her like a stranger and keep it moving.

If instead he’s walking up to her, making small talk, or even worse, giving hugs like they’re old friends, that’s not just being polite. That’s a clue he still loves her.

Even more telling is when she approaches him and he doesn’t immediately shut it down. A man who’s not over his ex will linger, letting her pull him into conversation instead of saying something direct like, “I need to get going” or “I don’t have business with you anymore.” If he entertains her in any way, shape, or form, he’s still stuck on his ex – simple as that.

And don’t fall for the classic excuses. “I have to text her because she still has my mail” or “I left some of my stuff at her place.” Please. He’s a grown man and he can set up mail forwarding, or accept the loss on whatever junk he “forgot.” Using those lines is just a convenient way to keep contact alive, and that’s one of the signs he’s not over his ex.

💔Using His Ex to Triangulate the Relationship

To be clear: if he keeps talking about his ex, comparing you to her, or complaining about her, that’s not just bad manners – it’s a classic narcissistic manipulation move called triangulating.

Basically, he’s trying to make you compete in your own head with someone he’s clearly not over. He gets double the satisfaction of making you jealous, and possibly fight for him even harder if there is a percieved competition. That’s one of the most sneaky and manipulative clues he still loves her, and you may not see, or understand whats going on right away, but once you do see it, it’s a red flag waving so hard it’s practically in your face, and it’s your cue to RUN.

💔Watch Out For the Perpetual Victim
Some men can’t stop playing the victim. They act overly emotional, hurt, or become way sentimental way too fast. You might get flooded with discussions about their “trauma” or past heartbreaks, and it might feel like emotional intimacy, but this is often a red flag.

When he’s still stuck on his ex, he can use his past as a shield, a way to manipulate your emotions while trying to keep you from seeing that he’s not over her.

Bombarding you with trauma stories makes you empathize, lowers your guard, and subtly excuses behaviors like constant comparisons or lingering attachments. These are subtle clues he still loves her, and if you’re not careful, you’ll end up carrying emotional baggage that isn’t even yours.

Example: he sends a heartfelt text about how “no one has ever understood him” or how his ex “ruined his life,” and it’s meant to make you comfort him, prioritize him, or feel lucky to be the one who gets him. But really, he’s just testing if you’ll tolerate the unresolved past because he’s in love with his ex and isn’t over her. Trust me: you don’t need this manipulative guy to be your project.

💔The Quiet Man’s Clues He Still Loves Her

Some men who are still stuck on their ex never actually tell you. You find out the hard way, after you’ve already emotionally invested in someone who’s clearly not over her.

That’s why it pays to bring up past relationships early. Ask once, casually, and pay attention to how he reacts. Does he get defensive? Brush it off? Or does he casually drop clues that he’s in love with his ex? You don’t need to pry endlessly, but establishing those “ground truths” up front gives you a benchmark. Later, if his story starts to drift or he slips into old patterns, you’ll recognize the signs he’s not over his ex long before it costs you even more.

Final Thoughts: When He’s in Love With His Ex, He will Make Any Excuse to Talk About Her

A man never has a real reason to be talking about a former relationship once the relationship is over. If he’s constantly dragging her into stories, jokes, or casual conversations, these are clues he still loves her.

You won’t have a healthy relationship with someone who isn’t fully present with you, and not half here while replaying old chapters in his head. If you notice these clues he still loves her, don’t waste time rationalizing his behavior. Pay attention. Protect your peace. And if the pattern keeps showing up, don’t be afraid to walk away.

Thank you for reading this post, don't forget to subscribe!