9 Deceptive Alpha Male Traits: How to Spot Fakes

The concept of the “alpha male” can be enticing, often linked to leadership, strength, and confidence. But not all who present themselves as such are genuine. In fact, there are many fake alpha males who hide insecurity and selfishness behind a facade of dominance.

I’ve known several guys with fake alpha male traits — one is a family member, (with a bad temper, as well — bad tempers seem to go with fake alphas) so spotting them came rather easy for me as I grew into womanhood.

However, not all of us had the experience of being around them or if we did, we may not have known what to look for.

I’ve covered some other relationship pitfalls that women should look out for, such as toxic male attitudes, the incel phenomenon, the dehumanization of women by men, and fragile masculinity being at the root of controlling relationships.

But what of the fake alpha male?

Why should women add them to their list of men to avoid?

Learning how to identify these impostors can save you from falling for their act. Here’s how to recognize the subtle signs of a fake alpha male, and understand the various types of alpha males that exist.

But first, let’s go over the 4 types of Alpha Males.

The 4 Types of Alpha Male

Before diving into the traits of a fake alpha male, it’s important to note that not all alpha males are the same.

These can be broken down into four distinct types:

1. The Confident Alpha:

This is the classic type—a man who leads by example, possesses natural charm, and exhibits calm strength. He’s secure in himself, lifting others up without needing to show off.

2. The Intellectual Alpha:

He leads with his mind rather than brute force. This type values knowledge and curiosity and earns respect through intelligence and wisdom.

3. The Spiritual Alpha:

His power lies in inner peace and emotional intelligence. The spiritual alpha male uses introspection and empathy as his guiding force.

4. The Dominant Alpha:

This one often gets confused with the fake alpha male. While he does exert control, the difference is that a dominant alpha male leads with respect, and people follow him willingly.

9 Deceptive Alpha Male Traits

Understanding the differences between a true alpha and a fake one is essential. A fake alpha male will typically exhibit these nine traits, which are designed to manipulate or impress, rather than inspire. Believe me, you don’t want to father any kids, especially sons, whom the fake alpha will “teach” how to talk to women in a non-respectful way.

1. Constant Bragging

While a real alpha male is confident in his abilities and achievements, a fake alpha male constantly brags about what he has accomplished. He relies on excessive self-promotion to validate his worth. This need to boast signals insecurity rather than strength.

2. No Tolerance for Emotional Depth

The fake alpha male typically dismisses vulnerability as a weakness, thinking emotional displays threaten his manhood. He scoffs at emotional depth, considering it unnecessary. A true alpha understands that handling emotions is a sign of strength, not weakness.

3. Insecure About Validation

One of the most telling alpha male traits of a fake is their constant craving for validation. While a true alpha male is content with who he is, the fake version requires others’ approval to maintain his fragile self-esteem. If he’s always seeking attention and approval, that’s a red flag.

4. Unhealthy Competition

A real alpha welcomes competition, seeing it as a chance for growth. But a fake alpha male competes with everyone for no reason, constantly trying to one-up others in every situation. This type of behavior often reveals deep-seated insecurities masked as confidence.

5. Insecure Around Strong Personalities

Instead of building up the strong people around him, the fake alpha male feels threatened by them. He prefers to be the sole figure of power and control, and might even try to undercut others’ strengths to protect his fragile ego.

6. Control Without Empowerment

The fake alpha doesn’t inspire others. Instead, he micromanages and dominates, using his position to maintain control rather than uplift those around him. In contrast, a true alpha male uses his leadership to empower and encourage growth in others.

7. Material Obsession

While there’s nothing wrong with enjoying success, the fake alpha male overcompensates by flaunting his wealth and possessions. For him, material goods define success, and he seeks validation through the things he owns rather than his character or contributions to society.

8. Interrupts Rather Than Listens

Now, this is one of the biggest red flags, and the easiest to spot — almost instantly. I have very little patience for chronic interrupters, although I understand we all do it to some extent. The difference lies in one’s ability to realize it, and stop themselves. Don’t even get me started on getting constantly talked over.

Fake alpha males dominate conversations, often interrupting others to keep the spotlight on themselves. They lack the patience or confidence to listen to others’ perspectives. In contrast, true alpha males are secure enough to value and absorb the input of those around them.

9. Defensive When Criticized

The fake alpha male can’t handle criticism, taking any feedback as a personal attack. While a true alpha understands that growth comes from constructive feedback, a fake alpha sees criticism as a threat and will frequently respond defensively or aggressively.

Why Women Should Avoid Fake Alpha Males

Fake alpha males may initially seem attractive with their boldness and confidence, but beneath the surface lies a host of issues that can lead to toxic relationships that make you wish you were single.

These men rely on manipulation, control, and shallow displays of dominance, which often result in unhealthy dynamics. They don’t uplift their partners—instead, they thrive on power imbalances and validation-seeking behavior.

Women who engage with fake alpha males may find themselves in emotionally draining relationships, where their needs are constantly overshadowed by the man’s fragile ego.

Unlike genuine alpha males who empower and support, fake alphas drain energy, prioritizing their own insecurities. Avoiding fake alpha males ensures healthier, more balanced partnerships where respect and emotional intelligence flourish.

Spotting these deceptive alpha male traits early, can save you from the emotional toll of dealing with a deep fake alpha male who only offers superficial confidence without real substance.

Final Thoughts on Identifying the Fake Alpha Male

Spotting a fake alpha male can save you from being manipulated by their superficial charm and false confidence. Their obsession with validation, competition, and control exposes their insecurities, and their inability to handle vulnerability, criticism, or strong personalities sets them apart from true alpha males.

Recognizing the various types of alpha males—confident, intellectual, spiritual, and dominant—can also help in understanding which traits signal authenticity versus deception.

True alpha males don’t need to constantly show off or put others down. Their confidence comes from within, and they use their strength to elevate, not diminish, those around them.

So, the next time someone tries to convince you they’re an “alpha male,” pay attention to the details. Look beyond their flashy exterior and see whether their actions align with genuine alpha male traits—or if they’re just another fake alpha trying to mask insecurity with a thin veneer of bravado.