9 Outrageous Lies Men Believe to Justify Infidelity
Some men honestly believe theyโre such a prize that any woman should feel lucky they stuck around this long.
Do men mess around because their egos just canโt fit in the room? Or is there something deeper going on? People stray for all kinds of reasons, but a big part of the problem is the lies men believe to justify infidelity.
Itโs like they talk themselves into thinking theyโre too good for just one partner, and somehow, that makes stepping out totally acceptable in their heads.
These questions have been circling my mind lately, especially when I think back on the times Iโve been on the losing end of menโs infidelity justifications.
Iโve written before about marriages with no intimacy. While digging into those topics, I noticed something wild: plenty of guys will trot out the same tired male infidelity excuses to dodge the guilt. They swear that if theyโre not getting what they think theyโre โowedโ at home, being unfaithful becomes fair game.

Letโs get one thing straight: nothing, absolutely nothing justifies Infidelity.
If youโve ever been burned by infidelity, you know the pain isnโt just from the betrayal itself. Itโs the laughable excuses men make for messing around that cut just as deep, and trust me, those insane male infidelity excuses can be downright soul-crushing. It’s infuriating when they take you for fool.
These lies arenโt just hurtful; theyโre emotionally exhausting, a whole other level of toxic.
So, if youโre ready for some real talk about how men rationalize adultery (and Iโm not here to rehash the usual โI was drunkโ or โit just happenedโ nonsense) then letโs dig into the most common menโs infidelity justifications, why theyโre so poisonous, and how you can protect yourself if youโre stuck dealing with these laughable excuses men make for messing around.
๐กKey Highlights
- Are Men Unfaithful Because They Feel Theyโre โToo Goodโ? How perceived superiority and entitlement might fuel infidelity.
- The Lies That Hurt More Than the Act Itself: Discover the toxic lies men believe justifying infidelity, and why theyโre so damaging.
- From “Weaponizing Intimacy” to “Roommates”: Learn about nine popular lies men believe to justify messing around and how they shape the narrative of infidelity.
- Breaking the Cycle: Why justifying infidelity doesnโt solve the problem and how trust and communication remain the real solutions.
- The Real Impact of Infidelity: Understand why these justifications are a reflection of the adulterer, not the partner they betray.

Insane Lies Men Believe to Justify Infidelity
๐1. My Partner Weaponizes Intimacy – so I was Unfaithful
Hereโs classic lie men believe to justify infidelity: blaming their partner for making them unfaithful.
Instead of owning up or having a real conversation about the manipulation, some guys just add more chaos with their own lazy justifications for messing around.
Yes, itโs easy to call out your partner for using physical intimacy as a control tool. But being unfaithful is just a sneaky way men rationalize adultery, dragging themselves down into the same manipulative mess.
If your partnerโs crossing the line, donโt stoop to their level. Take control, set your boundaries, and deal with it like an adult.

๐2. I Wasnโt Happy in the Relationship (not enough bedroom time)
Going back to the lack of intimacy topic, this one almost sounds reasonable, until you realize itโs just another of those laughable excuses men make for messing around to dodge dealing with real problems. Instead of having a straight-up conversation or, you know, breaking up, they choose to sneak around behind your back.
Happiness takes two people working together. So if your partner tries to pin their infidelity on a lack of physical intimacy, ask them why they didnโt put in the effort to fix things first. If their answer sounds empty or like a cop-out, thatโs a major red flag.

๐3. She Never Touched Me After Our Child Was Born
This is a classic line men take from their arsenal of excuses to justify infidelity, like theyโre the innocent victim stuck in some sudden, mysterious emotional desert.
But seriously, itโs not like he didnโt have time to emotionally prep for being put on the back burner while the mother of his child and the newborn adjust. He had nine whole months to get ready. He literally watched that baby growing inside his wife, so thereโs zero excuse for acting blindsided by such a massive life change.
This kind of nonsense is just another one of those male infidelity excuses designed to dodge responsibility.
On top of the madness of having a newborn, he messes around on her. Talk about an empathic rupture!
Sure, becoming parents changes a lot of things, but itโs not exactly a rare occurrence for intimacy to take a backseat in the chaos of newborn life.
But hereโs the twist: instead of acknowledging that both partners are adjusting to a huge life change, itโs easier to throw the blame on your partner and make it sound like theyโre the problem.
Rather than sulking or playing the martyr, how about communicating your needs? Kids are demanding, but so are relationships. If you’re not working together to find balance, pointing fingers at her isnโt going to magically fix things.

๐4. Iโm a POS Anyway, So Might as Well Mess Around on Her
This mindset smells like the kind of self-pity that conveniently wipes out any sense of accountability. Like somehow, their mistakes or insecurities give them a free pass to do whatever they want, no matter how much it hurts you.
If they think they’re a walking disaster, why not just add more drama by making terrible choices? Self-loathing doesnโt come with a free ticket to wreck relationships. Everyone can make better choices, even when theyโre feeling their lowest. Thatโs just one of the laziest male infidelity excuses out there and an easy way to dodge dealing with the real issues.
If your partner leans on this excuse to justify their behavior, ask yourself: are you really okay with that? And more importantly, what the heck are you doing with a POS like that? Are you willing to stay in a relationship where self-pity becomes a shield for toxic behavior?
If the answerโs no, then make it crystal clear: their โIโm a screw-up, I canโt help itโ act doesnโt excuse their choices , and it sure doesnโt give them a pass to be a disrespectful asshat towards you. You deserve someone who owns their mistakes and works on themselves, not someone who uses their insecurities as a hall pass to be unfaithful.

๐5. I’ve Never Experienced This (or someone like this). I NEED This Experience
Oh, how noble – turning your wandering eye into a โjourney of personal growth.โ What are you, 11?
Letโs call this what it really is: a thinly veiled excuse to justify pure selfishness. Yeah, novelty feels exciting, but itโs no reason to trash the commitment you already made. If you were so desperate for new experiences, maybe you shouldโve stayed single instead of dragging someone else into your indecisiveness. Time to grow up!
If your partner tried to slide the classic โI need this experienceโ excuse to justify their infidelity, donโt let their selfish nonsense make you doubt your worth. Iโd be out the door before that sentence even finished.
This isnโt on you: itโs their failure to appreciate what they have and respect the relationship. Step back and ask yourself: are you okay staying with someone who treats commitment like a trial run for their bucket list?
You deserve a partner who values you, not some guy chasing after new โexperiencesโ at your expense. Donโt waste your energy competing with their wanderlust. Let them โfind themselvesโ on their own time. Meanwhile, focus on rebuilding your confidence and surrounding yourself with people who actually get your worth. Someone who truly loves you wouldnโt need to shop around to know what theyโve got.
Thatโs just another one of those laughable excuses men make for messing around and nothing more than selfish nonsense dressed up as growth.

๐6. She Never Took Care of Herself, Refused to Lose Weight, etc.
Oh, so now your wandering eye blames her weight? How convenient.
If her body was really such a deal-breaker, why didnโt you bring it up respectfully before messing around on her? Relationships require communication and mutual effort: not another of the hilarious ways men rationalize adultery to cover up selfish behavior.
If your partner tries to use your weight as a justification for messing around, donโt let their shallow reasoning get to you. This isnโt about your body. Itโs 100% their failure to communicate and respect you, not someone who hides behind menโs infidelity justifications to excuse their selfishness.
If you want to make changes, do it for you on your own terms. Not to hold onto a partner who clearly doesnโt respect or deserve you. Let them take their excuses elsewhere while you focus on your health, happiness, and self-worth.

๐7. She Stepped Out First, and I Didnโt Want to Let Her Get Away With It.
How noble – turning infidelity into a revenge game. Because obviously, the best way to handle betrayal is by stooping to the exact same level, right?
Not gonna sugarcoat it: using someone elseโs mistake as an excuse to mess around doesnโt make you a hero – it just makes you equally guilty. Youโre not balancing the scales; youโre doubling the damage.
If your partner tries to justify their infidelity by blaming your actions, donโt buy into the guilt trip. Two wrongs donโt make a right, and messing around is still a choice: one they made consciously.
Instead of dealing with the real issue or walking away, they decided to match betrayal with betrayal. Thatโs just another one of those menโs infidelity justifications that people toss around to dodge accountability.
You shouldnโt settle for someone who treats your mistakes like a free pass to justify their own deplorable behavior. Take a hard look at what youโre really dealing with and ask yourself if this toxic back-and-forth is worth sacrificing your peace of mind.

๐8. My wife and I Have Already Turned Into Roommates
Ah, the classic โweโre just roommatesโ excuse men use to justify . Because, obviously, if the spark fizzled out, itโs totally okay to start a fire somewhere else, right?
Becoming roommates doesnโt happen overnight. Itโs the slow burn from ignoring communication, effort, and connection. If your partnerโs unhappy, they should have the guts to address it and not lean on one of the most ridiculous ways men rationalize adultery to dodge responsibility.
If theyโre throwing out the โroommateโ cop-out to justify stepping out, donโt buy into their spin. Every relationship hits rough patches, but that doesnโt give anyone permission to mess around instead of stepping up.
This โroommateโ problem? It couldโve been fixed, together, if they actually cared. Instead, they chose to betray your trust and blame you for the lack of intimacy. Thatโs just one of the classic male infidelity excuses designed to dodge accountability.

๐9. We Were About to Break Up Anyway
Hereโs a classic cop-out men use to justify adultery: the โwe were about to break up anywayโ line. Oh sure, you were definitely on the verge of calling it quits, so why not toss in a little extra drama for good measure?
This excuse is like the Swiss Army knife of the many ways men rationalize adultery: good for messing around, ghosting, or just plain acting like a donkey. But hereโs the truth: if you were really ready to break up, you wouldnโt need some grand exit strategy.
Just have the decency to own it and walk away. Turning it into a soap opera doesnโt make you look like a martyr; it just shows you canโt handle a breakup with any maturity.

Wrapping Up the Lies Men Believe to Justify Infidelity
Justifying infidelity doesnโt make it less damaging. If youโve heard any of these lies used as men’s infidelity justifications believe justifying infidelity before, remember this: their actions are a reflection of them, not you. Whether you choose to work through the fallout or walk away, the choice is yours, and your happiness should always come first.

FAQs Male Infidelity Excuses
Q: What are some of the lies used in men’s infidelity justifications?
A: Many men rely on excuses like feeling โowedโ physical intimacy, being โtoo good for one woman,โ or even blaming their partnerโs postpartum changes. These excuses shift the blame away from their actions and onto their partner or circumstances.
Q: How do lies about justifying infidelity affect relationships?
A: Lies like “she did it first” or “we were already like roommates” add layers of emotional damage to an already painful betrayal. They undermine trust, communication, and respect in a relationship, making it even harder to repair the bond.
Q: Why do some men justify adultery with reasons like “I wasnโt happy”?
A: Many believe their unhappiness or unmet needs grant them a pass to mess around, rather than addressing the issues within the relationship. This mindset avoids accountability and often ignores the effort required to maintain a healthy partnership.
Q: Are men unfaithful because they feel they are a โprizeโ?
A: Sometimes. Men with a sense of entitlement or superiority may see themselves as too valuable to settle for one partner, using this belief to rationalize adultery.
Q: How can you confront someone justifying infidelity with lies like โmy partner weaponizes intimacyโ?
A: Address their claims head-on by emphasizing that messing around is a choice, not a solution. Communicate that issues should be resolved through honest dialogue, not betrayal.
Q: Whatโs the harm in believing the lies men use to justify adultery?
A: Believing these lies enables toxic cycles and leaves emotional scars on both partners. They allow the adulterer to dodge accountability and undermine the betrayed partnerโs sense of self-worth.

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