Do men cheat because they feel they are a “prize”? Or is it something else? People cheat for different reasons, but many of the reasons men cheat come from a place of perceived superiority. Do some of these men think they are too good for one woman? These are questions that have ran through my mind lately when I’ve thought about the times I’ve been cheated on.

I’ve written previously about sexless marriages, and dead bedrooms. While doing research for these articles, I thought it was interesting that many of us (both sexes) who find themselves in this situation have no guilt of cheating on their significant other, since they don’t get what they feel is “owed” to them at home.

Obviously, there is nothing to justify cheating.

If you’ve ever been on the receiving end of infidelity, you know the heartbreak isn’t just about the act itself. It’s the lies men believe about justifying infidelity that stings almost as much.

Lies men believe to justify cheating aren’t just damaging—they’re emotionally exhausting.

If you’re ready for some straight talk about how men justify cheating – (I’m not talking about the generic excuses like “I was drunk” or “it just happened”) let’s talk about these lies, why they’re so toxic, and what you can do if you’re dealing with them.

Key Highlights

1. Do Men Cheat Because They Feel They’re “Too Good”? Explore how perceived superiority and entitlement might fuel infidelity.
2. The Lies That Hurt More Than the Act Itself: Discover the toxic lies men believe justifying infidelity, and why they’re so damaging.
3. From “Weaponizing Sex” to “Roommates”: Learn about nine popular lies men believe to justify cheating and how they shape the narrative of infidelity.
4. Breaking the Cycle: Why justifying infidelity doesn’t solve the problem and how trust and communication remain the real solutions.
5. The Real Impact of Cheating: Understand why these justifications are a reflection of the cheater, not the partner they betray.

Lies Men Believe to Justify Their Infidelity

1. My Partner Weaponizes Sex – so I Cheated

Another of the lies men believe to justify cheating; a classic blame-shifting move. Instead of addressing the problem head-on or having a mature conversation about the manipulation, you decided to add your own brand of chaos.

Sure, it’s easy to point fingers at your partner for using sex as a tool for control, but cheating just makes you as manipulative in the process.

If your partner’s behavior is crossing boundaries, the solution isn’t to sink to their level; it’s to take control of the situation and deal with it like an adult.

Cheating isn’t the fix—it’s a lazy way out of dealing with the real issue. If you’re unhappy, communicate, set boundaries, or walk away. But using infidelity as your excuse? That’s a mess of your own making.

2. I Wasn’t Happy in the Relationship (not enough sex)

Going back to the dead bedroom topic, this one sounds almost reasonable, until you realize it’s just an excuse to avoid addressing problems directly. Instead of having an honest conversation or, I don’t know, breaking up, they decide to sneak around.

Happiness is a two-way street. If your partner blames their cheating on a lack of sex, ask them why they didn’t work to fix things first. If their answer feels hollow, it’s a red flag.

3. She Never Touched Me After Our Child Was Born

This is a classic line men use to justify cheating that tries to make it sound like they’re the innocent victim of a sudden, unexplainable emotional desert.

It’s not as if he didn’t have time to emotionally prepare for being put on the back burner while the mother of his child and the newborn adjust, because he had NINE months. I mean, he literally watched that baby growing inside his wife, so no excuses for not being prepared for such a huge lifestyle change.

On top of the madness of having a newborn, she gets cheated on. Talk about an empathic rupture!

Sure, becoming parents changes a lot of things, but it’s not exactly a rare occurrence for intimacy to take a backseat in the chaos of newborn life.

But here’s the twist: instead of acknowledging that both partners are adjusting to a huge life change, it’s easier to throw the blame on your partner and make it sound like they’re the problem. Rather than sulking or playing the martyr, how about communicating your needs? Kids are demanding, sure, but so are relationships, and if you’re not working together to find balance, pointing fingers at her isn’t going to magically fix things.

Advice: Explain that infidelity isn’t just about physical acts; it’s about trust. If they don’t see that, it’s time to reevaluate whether they’re capable of the kind of relationship you deserve.

4. I’m a POS Anyway, So Might as Well Cheat

This mindset reeks of the kind of self-pity that conveniently ignores any sense of accountability. It’s as if someone believes their mistakes or insecurities somehow grant them a free pass to do whatever they want, no matter how hurtful.

Sure, if you think you’re a walking disaster, why not pile on more drama by making questionable choices? But here’s the thing: self-loathing doesn’t give you a free ticket to ruin relationships. Everyone’s capable of making better choices, no matter how low they might feel in the moment. Cheating is a lazy excuse for dealing with your issues—because it’s much easier to shift the blame than actually deal with the real problems.

Advice: If your partner leans on this excuse to justify their behavior, ask yourself if you’re truly okay with that perspective (as well as what am I doing with a POS). Are you willing to tolerate a relationship where self-pity is used as a shield for destructive actions?

If not, make it clear that their “I can’t help it, I’m a POS” line doesn’t excuse their choices, nor does it diminish your right to demand respect and honesty. Ultimately, you deserve someone who owns their actions and works on their issues, not someone who uses their insecurities as a hall pass for betrayal.

5. I’ve Never Experienced This (or someone like this). I NEED This Experience

Oh, how noble of you to turn your wandering eye into a quest for personal growth. What are you? 11??

Let’s call this what it is: a thinly veiled excuse to justify selfishness. Sure, novelty is exciting, but it’s no reason to trash the commitment you already made. If you’re so curious about what’s out there, maybe you should’ve stayed single instead of dragging someone else into your indecisiveness. Grow up!

Advice: If your partner used the “I need this experience” excuse to justify cheating, don’t let their selfish reasoning make you question your worth. Personally, I’d be gone before that sentence even fully left their mouth.

This isn’t about you; it’s about their inability to appreciate what they have and their lack of respect for the relationship. Take a step back and ask yourself if you’re willing to stay with someone who treats commitment like a trial run for their bucket list.

You deserve a partner who values you, not someone chasing “experiences” at your expense. Don’t waste your time trying to compete with their wanderlust—let them “find themselves” on their own. Focus on rebuilding your confidence and surrounding yourself with people who understand your value, because someone who genuinely loves you wouldn’t need to shop around to know what they have.

6. She Never Took Care of Herself, Refused to Lose Weight, etc.

Oh, so now you’re pinning your wandering eye on the scale? Convenient.

Let’s be truthful: if her weight was such a deal-breaker, why didn’t you address it respectfully in the relationship instead of using it as your post-cheating justification?

Relationships are about communication and mutual effort, not excuses for bad behavior.

Advice: If your partner used your weight as an excuse to cheat, don’t internalize their shallow, hurtful reasoning. This isn’t about your body—it’s about their inability to communicate and show respect.

You deserve someone who values you as a whole person, not someone who hides their selfish actions behind your physical appearance. If you want to make changes for yourself, do it on your terms—not to keep a partner who clearly doesn’t respect or deserve you.

And let them take their excuses elsewhere while you focus on your own health, happiness, and self-worth.

Advice: Don’t let this lie make you question your worth. If someone genuinely feels neglected, the mature response is a conversation, not infidelity. Their cheating isn’t your fault.

7. She Cheated First, and I Didn’t Want to Let Her Get Away With It.

Oh, how noble—revenge cheating and turning infidelity into a tit-for-tat competition. Because, clearly, the best way to address betrayal is to stoop to the exact same level, right?

Let’s not sugarcoat this: using someone else’s mistake to justify cheating doesn’t make you a hero; it just makes you equally guilty.

You’re not balancing the scales; you’re doubling the damage.

Advice: If your partner is justifying infidelity by blaming your actions, don’t fall for the guilt trip. Two wrongs don’t make a right, and their choice to cheat was just that—a choice.

Instead of working through the issue or walking away, they decided to match betrayal with betrayal.

You deserve better than someone who sees your mistakes as a free pass to justify their own bad behavior.

Take a hard look at what you’re dealing with and decide if this back-and-forth toxicity is worth your peace of mind—spoiler: it’s not.

8. My wife and I Have Already Turned Into Roommates

Ah, the classic “we’re just roommates” excuse to justify cheating. Because, clearly, if the spark isn’t blazing, it’s totally fine to light a fire elsewhere, right?

Let’s be brutally honest: turning into roommates doesn’t just happen overnight—it’s the result of neglecting communication, effort, and connection over time. If you’re unhappy, have the guts to address it, instead of justifying infidelity with the “roommate” cop-out.

Advice: If your partner is using this excuse to justify cheating, don’t buy into their narrative. Relationships go through rough patches, but that doesn’t give them permission to step out instead of stepping up.

Turning into “roommates” is a problem that could’ve been tackled together—if they’d cared enough to try. Instead, they chose to betray your trust and blame the lack of intimacy on you both.

You deserve someone who works to rebuild the relationship, not someone who uses its struggles as a hall pass for infidelity.

9. We Were About to Break Up Anyway

A classic cop-out used for justifying infidelity Oh, sure, you were definitely on the verge of calling it quits, so why not add a little extra drama for good measure?

Advice: It’s the perfect excuse for anything—cheating, ghosting, or just plain acting like a jerk. But let’s be honest: if you were truly ready to break up, there’s no need for a grand exit strategy.

Just have the decency to own it and walk away instead of turning the whole thing into a melodrama. The “we were about to break up anyway” line doesn’t make you look like a martyr; it just makes you look like you couldn’t face the breakup with maturity.

Wrapping It Up: Lies Men Believe to Justify Cheating Hurt Everyone

Justifying infidelity doesn’t make it less damaging. If you’ve heard any of these lies men believe justifying infidelity before, remember this: their actions are a reflection of them, not you. Whether you choose to work through the fallout or walk away, the choice is yours—and your happiness should always come first.

FAQ

Q: What are some of the lies men believe to justify cheating?
A: Many men rely on excuses like feeling “owed” sex, being “too good for one woman,” or even blaming their partner’s postpartum changes. These justifications shift the blame away from their actions and onto their partner or circumstances.

Q: How do lies about justifying infidelity affect relationships?
A: Lies like “she cheated first” or “we were already like roommates” add layers of emotional damage to an already painful betrayal. They undermine trust, communication, and respect in a relationship, making it even harder to repair the bond.

Q: Why do some men justify cheating with reasons like “I wasn’t happy”?
A: Many believe their unhappiness or unmet needs grant them a pass to cheat, rather than addressing the issues within the relationship. This mindset avoids accountability and often ignores the effort required to maintain a healthy partnership.

Q: Do men cheat because they feel they are a “prize”?
A: Sometimes. Men with a sense of entitlement or superiority may see themselves as too valuable to settle for one partner, using this belief to rationalize their infidelity.

Q: How can you confront someone justifying infidelity with lies like “my partner weaponizes sex”?
A: Address their claims head-on by emphasizing that cheating is a choice, not a solution. Communicate that issues should be resolved through honest dialogue, not betrayal.

Q: What’s the harm in believing the lies men use to justify cheating?
A: Believing these lies enables toxic cycles and leaves emotional scars on both partners. They allow the cheater to dodge accountability and undermine the betrayed partner’s sense of self-worth.